Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
this hospital has no fireball
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
