Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
