May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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