Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
