There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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