What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
