If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize