Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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