So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
