so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
