How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
