You're completely useless in the revolution.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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