A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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