You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
