Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
