we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
sex in a hospital.. check
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
