the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
