he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize