Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
