Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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