I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
