He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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