Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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