Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
