the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
