i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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