You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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