i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
