He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
