If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
