He uses pillows to masturbate.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
