if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
