She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
