Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize