it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
As shirtless as possible
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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