At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
