dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
