My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
