Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
