If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
