thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
