C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
