Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
