I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
