Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
