Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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