i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
we should paint friendship bongs
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
