I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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