That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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