It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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