Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
