Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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