The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
