Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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