She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize