We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
