the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
