Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
