Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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