NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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