just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize