i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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