why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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