it was like eating out sand paper
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
