I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
