I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
