i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
