She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
