you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
