Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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