no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
