The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
