My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
