Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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