i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
