It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
